Perspective

I have been thinking about this for a while. A number of unrelated yet related events occurred over the past year. All of these things have given me much more perspective on my life. Additionally, evaluating my current surroundings (and the many single and/or childless people I seem to be surrounded by) I am forced to remember to put everything in perspective as well.

Just over a year ago a trio of events occurred. I found out in May that my thesis advisor had passed away. This was so incredibly shocking to me. I think of all the people I have worked with over the years she is the one person I can really say I thought of as a mentor. She impressed me as a young grad student when one day she admitted to me that I knew more than she knew on this one topic we were discussing. What? It is ok to admit that? Her ability to admit that, ask for more information, and work with those that complemented her own knowledge has really colored how my own career. I hadn't spoken to her since just after Emma was born and she had commented on some photos I had sent her. I was so deeply sad that I wasn't able to share the birth of my second child with her. She was young (49), fit (I remember her riding her bike with bike trailer including two not too tiny sons in it up and down the hills of Athens Ohio years ago) and had a heart attack. That puts things in perspective doesn't it?

About a month later my co-worker (who's baby was due a month before Olivia) lost their son during childbirth. Clearly this was a devastating tragedy to him and his wife, but it also impacted me deeply. I was a month away from delivering Olivia. It scared the hell out of me. This has also colored this past year. There have been many, many nights (if not every night since Olivia has been born) that she hasn't woken me up in the middle of the night and I have thought that I am lucky that I CAN get up in the middle of the night with her. I cannot help but think how is it possible to cope and move on after something like that?

The weekend after this happened we went out of town (to WV) to get away one more time before the baby was born. After taking a drive in the local state park Aaron started losing vision, memory, couldn't read words. As I thought he was having a stroke we rushed to the nearest hospital. He has since been cleared of serious medical conditions (other than migraines), but that experience also provided some serious perspective to cherishing him and our family.

This photo is sitting on the mountain the day after this event. I clearly remember sitting here in peace and sorting through all of the events that I have mentioned here. So although these were all very sad/stressful/tragic events I have sorted through them, dwelled on them, evaluated them over the past year.

I don't mean this to be sad (although there is sadness here) but more about how fortunate I feel that I feel like I escaped tragedy myself or grazed it just slightly and how fortunate I have been to do so. Recently a colleague of mine (whos son was born the day after Olivia) was diagnosed with retinal cancer and I again was reminded to really appreciate how fortunate I have been. I cannot imagine little Livvy going through chemotherapy at this age.

So I don't mean to be a huge downer but I want to remember these things, sort them out in my mind and put them in a place that will allow me to maintain perspective on the daily ups and downs in my own life.